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CicelyRobinLaing©2014

 

My heart is really full right now…
Life is full… and I never feel like I’m big enough to handle it all.
It seems like I can never be everywhere I want to be…
or with the people I love when I wish to be…
I am divided between a dozen wants and needs and I can only do one or two…
I am floating down the river of life in my tiny row boat…
just bumping into other rowboats…
each filled with people I love…
We drift in and out of reach…
We pass a touch here… a moment there…
a gift is exchanged… a memory is made…
but it never seems enough…
We can never really do more than hook up our boats temporarily…
We can never leave our own boats…
Tonight I am alone…
I trail my hand in the water…
Thinking of water lilies… frogs… and fish…
Tonight I know someone I love will need me…
And I can’t get to them…
I know someone I love may step off their boat and sink beneath the water…
And I will not get to say goodbye…
I know that my best intentions will never be enough…
I try and give of myself as much as I think I can…
And still remain myself…
I tie little strings… like fishing lines… to other boats…
But they break…
My best gift is a smile… a bit of laughter… sent across the water…
I am alone…
But I am not lonely…
The river is crowded…
I just need to come to terms with the fact that I am just one soul…
In just one tiny boat…
Traveling along the with the current…
Beneath the stars…
A ripple in the stream of time…
One soul…
Flawed and full of doubts…
But also full of love…
I may not be enough for everyone…
But I must learn to be enough for myself…
And that will have to do…
My heart is full…
Full of thoughts of you…

 

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For Mary…. and her boat for two…

 

Cicely Robin Laing © 2015

The World Spins…

CicelyRobinLaing©2012

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The World spins…

She doesn’t notice if you…

or I…

are here…

She doesn’t notice…

if we are… not…

The World just…

is…

I…

I breathe…

in and out…

My breath a tiny gust of air…

I… am…

just a mote of dust…

Drifting…

Perhaps landing for a moment on her shoulder…

The feather touch of her motion…

and I am… afloat again…

As she spins…

I don’t mind…

I breathe…

She gives me my breath…

And sometime…

she will take it away…

I…

I am nothing…

Like that mote of dust…

Nothing to notice…

But still…

a World can not be without dust…

Dust is important too…

Stop and notice it…

for a few moments…

When it’s dancing in the sun light…

Or giving you a place to trace your finger… leaving a mark…

Disturb it… and it just settles somewhere else…

Where enough gathers…

It becomes earth…

And the World spins…

We hardly notice…

She spins…

I… breathe…

I am nothing to her…

She is everything to me…

Still I matter…

because I am part of her…

I get to be that mote of dust…

Dancing in the sunlight for a little while…

Maybe the other motes of dust will notice…

And dance with me too…

for a little while…

We’ll breathe…

She’ll spin…

The Universe won’t notice…

and that’s okay…

because…

We…

matter…

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I have been here… but gone…

Now, I am back… still breathing… unnoticed…

and that’s okay…

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Words and image by Cicely Robin Laing © 2015

 

CicelyRobinLaing©2014

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Please… really… Let me be snowed in….
The “Holidays” really take it out of me….
I love them and yet….
they can be such a “black hole” when it comes to time….
Maybe it’s just me… but every year,
I try to get all my holiday “to do”s done way ahead of time…
and still, here it is almost January….
and I still have unfinished “Holiday” business….
A Holiday Hang-Over of the “Rats! I didn’t get that done!” type…..
Still, Santa came on time….
I got almost all the gifts wrapped….
And about half of the lights are hung and working….
But I am sleep deprived and living off chocolate and cheese…..
The floor is covered with bits of wrapping paper….
And the cats have stolen ornaments from the tree….
Still, there is happiness….
I enjoyed the magic….
I get to spend time with my partner and kids….
We even survived multiple family get togethers….
And enjoyed a few days of sleeping in….
Ignore the chores….
I have come to accept that I just can’t do everything….
Less posts on my blog in exchanged for baking cookies with my kids….
Laundry stacking up so I can go shopping with my daughter….
That Holiday letter I started in October, that may not go out till April….
If ever………………………………….
I may feel a little regret…. or a lot………..
for not completing my latest art “master piece”…..
but playing board games with my son is just so much more rewarding….
Maybe I should be cleaning out the back hallway closet…
But really…. who cares when there are Christmas cookies left to eat….
So, let me be snowed in….
Whether it be real snow…. or just me ignoring the world outside….
Put on a Holiday movie and pour me a bit of cocoa….
The Holidays are a gift of time….
To be shared with family….
And really….
Everything else can wait….

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And for the 31st? Forget the nog or bubbly… I got a bottle of Scotch…. Thanks Santa!

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Happy New Year!

 

 

Ouch….

CicelyRobinLaing©2014

 

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I cut myself on a clove of garlic today…

That’s just how weird and arbitrary life can be sometimes…

It stung with the garlic oil…

The cat thought the whole thing was odd…

But the chili it went into was good…

Now, I sit here with a strange hole in the palm of my hand…

One no band-aid will cover…

And I contemplate…

Would a garlic puncture be a mortal wound to a vampire…?

Life is just weird sometimes…

Or maybe it’s just me…

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A true life story from my kitchen…

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Image and words… by Cicely Robin Laing © 2014

CicelyRobinLaing©2011

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My daughter turns 18 today…
I can hardly believe that much time has passed…
And then I remember all the days…
Good and difficult, fun and frustrating…
People congratulate me and I can’t understand why…
They say I raised a great daughter…
But I feel I was only along for the ride…
She’s beautiful, smart and so complete…
And yet, she is still young, new and vulnerable…
And still needing me…
As she wades out deeper into the world…
I hope that she knows I will always be here…
Her shelter in any storm…
Though with or without me…
She will travel on…
She is my explorer, my music, my funny girl…
And I am her truth teller, her confidant, her mom…
But even more… I am her life long friend…
And she is mine…
Forever…

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Image and words by Cicely Robin Laing © 2014

Cicely Robin Laing © 2012

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Here Fishy, Fishy…

Here Fishy, Fishy…

Why don’t you come when I call?

I’ve named you…

I’ve fed you…

But you’re just not friendly at all!

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There Fishy, Fishy…

There Fishy, Fishy…

Don’t turn your tail, Don’t be sad…

I’ll pet you…

I’ll hug you…

Still your glassy eyes… really life isn’t so bad!

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Oh! Fishy, Fishy…!

Oh! Fishy, Fishy…!

Please… was it something I said?

I’ve petted you…

I’ve regretted you…

Whatever you do… Please… Please, don’t be dead!

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I wonder what fish think about when their friends go belly up…

Then again… do fish have friends?

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A little something for #Whatever Wednesday…

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Words and image… and general silliness by Cicely Robin Laing © 2014

 

Cicely Robin Laing © 2014

 

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Max…. was like an axe…
He was sharp on one end and blunt on the other…
When he spoke people gathered to listen…
But he never made any sense, even to his mother…
His words sounded so good…
So clear and succinct…
But when you pulled apart their meaning…
It was like soup splashed in a kitchen sink…
But Max, he was like an axe…
He was sharp and to the point…
He cut his way through his troubles…
Like a butcher severing a joint…
Despite the lack of content…
He always made an impression…
It wasn’t long before…
He found the perfect profession…
Of course, he became a politician…
Winning debates, and the final election…
Once in office, did he accomplished anything…
Not to anyone’s recollection…

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Max was good looking… He would have been lovely in the oval office…
(A tale spin improvised story… not a reflection of any real person… really… :)

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Image and words by Cicely Robin Laing © 2014

 

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