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In My Dreams by Cicely Robin Laing

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In my dreams…

I watched them play…

Up on the hill top, on a windy day…

There was no sorrow…

There was no loss…

Just a kite to fly, and a ball to toss…

Happy laughter…

The sound of running feet…

Inside this memory there was joy to meet…

The rustle of wind…

And the crack of thunder…

Spoiled my sweet feel of slumber…

Now, awake…

Beneath these layers I lay…

Wishing for the break of day…

To shed the thoughts…

And hide the tears…

Of missing you these many years…

In my dreams…

I get to play…

With you… on a hill top… far away…

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Words and image by Cicely Robin Laing © 2015

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UndercoverCat©2015CRLaing

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I am closer to death than I am to birth…
and still, I don’t know who I am…
During daylight hours I pretend to be me…
but under the covers at night, doubts fill my mind…
Dreams of second guesses and forgotten successes…
mix with flights of fancy, and horrible messes…
I toss and turn, waiting for sleep to save me…
only to find my mind never forgave me…
Deep beneath the tattered tangled blankets…
I try to find me, the one I haven’t met yet…
But every event, every thought, every action…
changes me from one moment to the next…
Each a tiny death, becomes a birth, a resurrection…
Then morning comes, and I am more tired than awake…
and still, I am who I am… rediscovered…
at least for one more day…
Is there any other way?

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Words and image by Cicely Robin Laing ©2015

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Gobble Gobble ©2015 CicelyRLaing

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am…
being thankful for life…
for still being alive…
for being able to still kick a bit…
for still being able to love my friends…
to hug and kiss my family…
I’m thankful for knowing…
that even when overwhelmed…
I have a hope of digging out…
hope that tomorrow may have less pain…
hope that today I will remember…
all the beauty of yesterday…
the potential of the future…
hope to be able to see joy…
and to give joy…
I am thankful…
for love…
thankful…
for life…
I am
thankful…
I am…

 

May your day be filled with love and thanks…


Words and image by Cicely Robin Laing

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A chance to take a class with me… see more info below…

Photography by Cicely Robin Laing

 

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When you stop talking, you don’t stop speaking…

And you listen more with your eyes, than you do with your ears…

Silence is filled with a million stories, and music of the body electric…

And one look can break your heart, or fill you with love and joy…

Say it with silence… it speaks so much louder than words…

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This Wednesday, October 28th, 2015… I will be teaching the Improv drop-in class at HUGE Theater in Minneapolis. Join me at 5pm for a couple hours of improv fun and explore how much you can say without words…

And now I have said too much….

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Words and photography by Cicely Robin Laing © 2015

 

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Playing with Glass

 

Breaking the looking glass…

Shards of a dream…
The broken promise of a tea party…
Madness bleeds across the fractured surface…
Sleeps slips in and steals a tray of cookies…
Painted roses forgotten…
Like a raindrop in a storm…

I am your Alice…
“Drink me!” they whisper…
The sounds of shuffling cards blend with shuffling feet…
“Drink me!” they whisper…
Like a drop in a storm…
“Drink me!” they whisper…
I am your Alice…

Shattered…

You invited me into this madness…
“I…
am…
home…” they whisper

I pick up a sliver of mirror…
A drop of blood…
Cuts…
A reflection…
Not my own…
I want to go home…

“You are our Alice!” they whisper…

“Tell me a riddle! Pour me some Tea! Off with your Head! A dreadfully ugly Baby!”
Voices running in panic…
Feet whispering in fear…
Time to talk of other things…
A drop of blood…
A reflection…
Shards of a dream…
The broken promise of a tea party…

“I am your Alice” I whisper…

Before the smile…

fades…

away…

“Drink me!”

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I have been doing writing of a different sort lately… I have been telling stories through improvised theater. Recently, I had the chance to create and direct a improvised theater piece called “Breaking the Looking Glass”… I am so amazed at just how crazy it is to take an idea from inside my head, explain it to talented people, work with them to make it a reality… and then let it loose on the world!

We have had five shows so far… three more are happening in the next week. I wish you all could see it. Perhaps some of you will…

Consider yourselves invited….  We might even serve tea.

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Breaking the Looking Glass  this is our Facebook page…

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Words and Image by Cicely Robin Laing © 2015

 

 

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CicelyRobinLaing©2014

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Life can be a lonely place…

Even surrounded by people

The ache of solitude can get so strong.

An overwhelming tide of responsibilities

The undertow of everyone else’s happiness

The grinding sands of your own failings and flaws

All you want is love, a little intimacy

Someone to take care of you for a little while.

The touch of a hand on your cheek,

A shoulder strong enough to hold all your tears.

Life is a lonely place…

Sometimes the only person left to pick you up is you

It hurts so bad

The exhaustion of just existing drags you down

It becomes an evil cycle of just maintaining

But not well enough to get ahead.

Every failure becomes the truth

And every success, a short lived lucky shot.

The spiral into darkness is not a choice

It is an unplanned ride down a greased spiral slide.

Once at the bottom you have to choose

Live there or try to climb back out…

Life is lonely…

We walk the Earth in a soft solitary shell

Touching those around us, but rarely ever joining

When we finally shuffle off this mortal coil

All we have are the choices we made in this life.

The way we touched others and how we cared for the world

We don’t need to be perfect, or strong

We don’t need to be happy, or a “success”

We just need to be ourselves…

Life is… lonely…

But

We are not alone.

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Thank you to everyone who joined me for the month of April… the NaPoWriMo challenge of writing a poem everyday was, I hope, a success.  I have to admit some days were harder than others. But writing is a good way to get out feelings I can’t really voice in any other way.  If you have read this far, you have likely read my poem above… I do live with depression, and I have loved ones who also struggle with it… including two of my children. I can not take the pain away, but I can understand. I can tell you that even in your most deepest, darkest pit… you are not alone. I’m right there next to you………….. and if you just reach out, I will enfold you in my arms and we will hug each other in the darkness…………………..  If enough of us hug each other, eventually a little sunshine will break through… and a little laughter is sure to follow.

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Image and words by Cicely Robin Laing © 2015

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CicelyRobinLaing©2014

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When we make love…

I do not know where you end…

And I begin…

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Day 30… Image 32… Poem 32….

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National Poetry Writing Month

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Words and Image by Cicely Robin Laing ©2015

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